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18 February 2006 @ 09:47 am
Naruto Fic: Diplomatic Relations, Side Story  
Next chapter, or side-story rather. It's a mixture of humour and more serious sibling-ness. Dedicated to the Sand Sibs, because they're fantastic characters who deserve more good fics about them.

Warning: Language, and I sort of put the sibs with unnamed OCs. I love a good ShikaTem and KankuroKiba, but the chances of that happening in this fic were remote.

Disclaimer: Naruto is the brainchild of Kishimoto-sama, and I am not worthy. I merely borrow the manga's characters and situations, and make no money off of them.

Side Story: The Bottom of the Bottle

Kankuro had to hunt around, and for a panicked moment he thought he’d made a mistake and didn’t have that bottle of Wave Country rotgut anymore. He finally found it, stuck under the kitchen sink for some reason.

He broke the seal and eased off the cap as if the liquor inside might explode. He’d gotten drunk a grand total of twice in his life. It wasn’t something you made a habit out of when you had his kind of job.

He knocked one back then and there with an exaggerated shudder. It was some kind of weird barley distillate mixed with an unknown citrus fruit; at thirty percent proof, it didn't get you drunk fast enough to help you get over the taste. He put down his glass and headed towards the shower. Then he doubled back and took another one for the road.

He scrubbed his wet hair and scalp until it ached, trying to not think about- about it.

He’d only caught a glimpse, but a Shinobi had perfect recall for details, even when he really, really didn’t want to, so he kept seeing flashes of his little brother pinning Rock Lee to the wall - don’t think.

Lee had had his hand up Gaara’s shirt- just forget about it.

Not that he’d actually looked, but there had been tongues involved, he just knew it- ugh- and- and a certain hint of hip grinding- damn it stop visualizing!!

When he came back out into the main room, dressed in clean trainers and a towel around his neck, it was to find that Temari had snuck in and was drinking out of his glass. The gall. The only reason he didn’t kick her out of the house was because she’d picked up the clothes he’d dropped on his way to the bathroom, the sort of fussy gesture that reminded him that Temari was his sister. Yeah, they were family, kin, bound by ties of blood, so he had to put up with her and one day he might even forgive her for making him give Gaara The Talk. Right after she died horribly, of course.

But the situation called for commiseration among people who’d just been through the same shock.

"Well," Temari said coolly, tapping her nails on his counter.

"Well," he echoed ironically as he got a new glass from the cupboard.

"Rock Lee, huh?"

"Shut the fuck up, I’m trying not to think about it."

Kankuro grabbed the bottle while his mind sped like a hamster on a wheel. Gaara. Gaara had fallen for someone. Gone the distance too, and let someone in. Ugh, stupid innuendo. Not thinking about that. But yeah. The all-powerful Kazekage; utterly controlled, dangerous, untouchable- lying panting on his back and taking it- notthinkingabouthat! God. Gaara. His little brother. Gaara had had sex. With a guy. With Rock Lee! Gaara! Gaara had fallen for someone- had Kankuro really returned to the right village?

Temari pushed her glass at him for a refill. They were teacups, not really what should be used for this type of alcohol but who the fuck cared.

"I like Lee. So do you," she challenged.

"Sure," Kankuro answered loudly, spilling drops as he put the bottle back down with a clunk. "He’s okay. But he’s Lee, for fuck’s sake! He’s-he’s- come on!"

Lee was just this energetic green streak in the background, as far as Kankuro was concerned. Alternatively cheerful, stubborn and oh-so-earnest, sometimes all three at once. But he'd become Gaara's friend, and for that Kankuro would have put up with a lot more weirdness than Lee's constant self-imposed challenges. Crazy Leaf, always practicing like a maniac. But he was okay to chat with if you'd had a hard day and just felt like not thinking about the darker side of being a Shinobi for awhile...In fact, he’d sort of become Kankuro's friend, too, though the Sand Jounin didn't like to admit it to himself, because sometimes friends died, and also because, well, he was Lee, all bowl-cut and legwarmers and grand declarations. He was easier to tease than treat as a bosom buddy, but yeah, Kankuro did like the freak, most times.

But Lee and Sex just didn't go together in Kankuro's mind. It was almost as unimaginable as Gaara and Sex. And the thought that Lee had gotten it on with Kankuro’s little brother...Gaara, Lee and Gaara, Gaara and Lee, K-I-S-S- oh for fuck's sake.

Kankuro took another drink, glumly aware that the full breadth of the shock still hadn't penetrated his mind, probably because it was too big. He was counting on the alcohol to dull things until he woke up tomorrow with a hangover, and all this would have settled down in his head as something he could possibly get used to.

"There’s nothing wrong with Lee. He’s a serious and dedicated Shinobi. You’re just jealous because he found someone before you did," Temari sniffed.

Kankuro spilled alcohol all over his chin and boggled at his sister as he wiped it away. “What the fuck? What does that mean? I see plenty of action.”

"Oh please, as if those...indiscriminate flings of yours did anything to you above the beltline."

“Well at least I’m getting laid,” Kankuro pointed out. “How’s what’s-his-name? Still dancing around with ‘just friends’?”

Temari shot him a look that would have rendered a lesser man to jelly, but Kankuro had grown up with Gaara of the Desert, so he just smirked.

He knew his sister was rather taken with ‘That Guy’, which was how Kankuro had mentally dubbed the Sand Jounin in question. She was waiting for That Guy to make a pitch and take her out, because she was too proud to be the one who asked first. But since That Guy was worried about Gaara’s reaction, nothing was happening. Which proved how stupid That Guy was. Gaara didn’t even know he existed. He should be more worried about Kankuro, who was starting to think that a man who couldn’t deal with the chick’s younger brother being the head of his village, a demon-possessed powerhouse and a one-time homicidal psychopath was probably not worth his big sister’s time.

Kankuro opened his mouth to mine this familiar vein of sibling rivalry some more...when the thought struck him. From the way Temari suddenly emptied her glass, it had struck her too.

Kankuro poured some more for both of them in silence and stared at the vile, yellowish drink.

“Our caustic, Tail-ridden, one-time nutjob of a little brother got shacked up before either of us,” Kankuro finally said. “What the hell happened here?”

“They’re not shacked up,” Temari muttered sullenly into her glass.

“You know that’s just a technicality,” Kankuro said, and then noted how he’d had to negotiate the word ‘technicality’ like it was foreign territory. Finally this stuff was kicking in. It had to be, because for starters he could see some humour in the situation. “I mean, this is Lee we’re talking about. You could use him for definitions of the words dependable and faithful. And if nothing else, he’s as tenacious as a, um, well, as a rock, haha, and Gaara’s now gonna hang onto him like a limpet, because who else would have the guts to feel him up like that, so really, all we’re waiting for is to have a party where the Kazekage comes out to the village - oh man, that’ll be fun - and-“

"We tell nobody." The words cracked around Kankuro's small kitchen area like a whip.

Kankuro stared at her. This wasn't the sister he could tease, this was the Jounin and Gaara's second in command speaking.

"Why?" he asked, eyes narrowing, mind stirring out of its gathering haze.

Temari spoke crisply, but her gaze was turned inward. "There could be consequences. For both of them. Consequences we cannot afford at present. Not right now. We need a few months. At least. And I don't know-...it's going to take some negotiating. I'm not sure how Suna will react, either. Everybody's been worried about Gaara-"

She suddenly broke off and bent her head so that her blond bangs hid her eyes. Her mouth was pinched and tight. Kankuro looked at her in alarm.

"You okay, sis?"

"Yes, of course," Temari snorted. She rubbed her nose viciously, making it redden.

"Yes, of course, sure, why not. Look at me, Tem."

Temari's head shot up and she glared at him as viciously as the drink scrubbing the enamel from his teeth. Kankuro upheld the glance, and looked at her. Really looked at her. He'd been too busy before, getting his worn-out unit home, giving her a summary of the situation, popping off to see Gaara, suffering a major cardiac incident in Gaara's office, Lee and Gaara, Gaara and Lee...

And Temari. Who, now that Kankuro was examining her, looked a lot closer to a meltdown than he'd seen her in ages.

Temari tried to keep up the bold, steely stare that characterized her, but Kankuro told her with no more than a snort to cut out the bullshit. That didn't work on brothers. Temari's eyes flickered away from his and she rubbed her forehead. Her voice tried to be steady but her lips were trembling and she looked really tired.

"Damn, ‘Kuro, I-...I'm glad you're back. There’s been so much going on here. I thought I was going crazy. Well, no, I thought Gaara was going crazy, which is a whole lot worse. Now I know he was just sleeping with Rock Lee. Whoopee. What is this stuff? Tastes like citric acid. Do you have anything stronger?”

“You’re the one who just said you liked Rock Lee,” Kankuro pointed out mildly, still waiting.

“I think they’re both crazy. I’m just glad Gaara didn’t hurt him. Seriously, it’s been scary here." Temari's voice had fallen to barely more than a whisper. "He went ballistic on a stretch of desert two weeks ago. Sheer destructive frenzy. I could feel it build since they removed the seal, but I didn’t know what the problem was or how to defuse it. And then his chakra went completely wild, we could feel it a mile away, it felt like-...You know. I kept everybody inside the gates and ready to-...“

Temari stared at the table and Kankuro poured her another drink.

“S’okay,” he muttered.

He knew what she was saying, though this wasn’t something they discussed. Since they’d become Genin, he and Temari had lived with a sombre possibility before them, that they might one day have to protect their village at the cost of fratricide. Though it felt more like a technicality back then. Their job had been to half-bait, half-cajole the dangerous creature that shared their bloodline into finishing missions and not ripping the head off of anyone he fancied, themselves included. You didn't feel brotherly towards that. Except on the highly rare occasions when you caught him sleeping and his face reminded you of the half-forgotten face of your dead mother...

These past few years, the possibility had become a distant thing, a bad memory, as Gaara changed both radically and in other, more subtle ways. Kankuro had watched the dangerous creature slowly reach out to them, become both family and their Kazekage, a man Kankuro respected and whose leadership he followed. The thought that the possibility of that choice was there again, suddenly before them, would have been hard to bear now that Gaara was no longer an unstable, wounded monster but truly their brother. And Temari had faced that possibility alone. Kankuro hated Sound right now as much as he'd hated them when he'd heard of the attempt on Gaara's life.

"And now I find out I was worrying for nothing." Temari laughed, a tad bit hysterically but it banished the bad memories. "It just turns out he's screwing Rock Lee!"

Kankuro was glad for the distraction from his darker thoughts, ones he tried not to dwell on. That was the past.

He shook himself and muttered a derisive “Other way around, sis, other way 'round,” before he emptied his glass and filled it again.

He was getting completely buzzed. But he could still remember every goddamned word from their ‘talk’ earlier. Kankuro still hadn’t figured out which part of the ‘talk’ he was most desperate to forget: the sheer shock-induced vapidity of his ‘You see, Gaara, when two people really like each other a lot’ speech, or Gaara's answer to that.

Temari watched him with progressively wider eyes.

“You’re joking," she gasped. "Are you saying that Gaara is the one who got-...um…"

“Why don’t you go ask him? Trust me, he’s not shy when it comes to the details.”

“Are they both insane?!” Temari burst out. “What about the Sand Barrier?”

“Can we please not talk about this anymore? Or ever again? They managed. Lee’s still alive and not missing any essential bits. ‘nuff said.”

Temari stared at him for a long time, then her gaze became thoughtful, in a not entirely sober way.

"Which do you find most disturbing?" she mused. "The fact that Lee is sleeping with our little brother or that he’s sleeping with Gaara of the Desert? I’m having a hard time deciding."


They were silent for a spell, trying to fit this piece of knowledge into their lives. It was just such a massive change to what they’d thought was the way the world worked.

Not that Kankuro was necessarily unhappy about this change; far from. He'd been hoping that Gaara might one day show some interest in chicks, because, when all was said and done, Kankuro did kinda love the scary, overbearing little bastard, and girls were part of what made life fun. But his brother’s emotional control had seemed so absolute and central to his current character. Kankuro couldn't imagine him falling for someone. It was like imagining the desert deciding to kick back and chill. And what chick would give a chance to a guy prone to staring fixedly at people until they did what they were told or passed out...? Come to think of it, Rock Lee had never taken any shit from the Kazekage, and fought him toe to toe. It was almost inevitable. In a really fucked-up kind of way.



"Can you give me a brief rundown of the situation before you get completely toasted?"

It took Kankuro a few seconds to realize Temari was referring to the Sound thing, and not their little family trauma.

"Oh. Which bit?"

"All of it."

Kankuro sighed with the drama of a brother being unfairly put upon by unreasonable sisters, and gave her the telegraphic version.

"It was long and hard, even with Konoha giving us a hand. After dozens of false leads, our combined forces tracked Sound down in Stone Country. But they're in there deep, and they have some sort of alliance with Iwagakure. We didn't spot Orochimaru, but we know he's there. We think he's taken over someone's identity again. Maybe the Tsuchikage, if we're really fuckin' unlucky, and don't that bring back old memories. So we pulled back before they realized we were onto them. They're not going anywhere; they're planning something big. Probably a war. Tsunade gave me letters for Gaara, but me and my Konoha counterpart, we know what they'll decide and we've already taken steps.

“This time, we do this right. This time, we take it slow, infiltrate all levels of his operation, find Orochimaru, cover every single one of his possible boltholes and then wipe him off the map. He's not getting away again. It'll take months to get the info we need, and a lot of high-level guys. We'll have to keep security real tight, too, because there are signs the snake has eyes and ears in both our villages, damn his hide. So we set up counter-information units, and a spy network around the Stone capital and Iwa, and along-"

He stopped speaking as he noticed Temari's frown of concentration.


"What are the chances that they’ll send Lee out?"

Oh boy. Kankuro hadn’t thought of that.

"Don't know. Both our villages are still kinda undermanned for a really big operation if we want to keep the cash coming in with regular missions as well."

"And these will be joint missions between our villages. This is exactly the sort of thing Lee's post was created for. Damn." Temari had leaned her fan against the counter, and she was rapping a quick tattoo on its wooden frame with her fingernails. "I can’t think of a way to get Konoha to not haul him out into the field once his sick leave is up. That's the day after tomorrow if I remember right."

Kankuro watched her in silence.

"Konoha must not realize what’s going on either, or they’d have pulled him back to Leaf faster than you can say ‘diplomatic pitfall’...But if Lee leaves on a mission, that's hardly better than having him recalled. We have to find a way-...In the short run, perhaps I can have our clinic run a check-up on him next week. I'm pretty sure he's not mission-fit at present, whatever he says. But in the long term, we have to find a way to-"


She continued to stare at the counter and mutter to herself until he repeated her name again, and then she glanced up distractedly.

"Temari. We can’t protect him from this." He wasn't talking about Lee.

Temari stared at him, her mouth turned down in the corners in an expression of immovability that reminded him of their little brother.

"Gaara is not stupid," Kankuro told her steadily. "He’s emotionally stunted and he's still unstable, but he’s not stupid. You know him; you know he's thought this through. I don’t know how badly he’d react if-...well, let's just say I really don't want to see Lee get himself capped at this point."

In part because, as much as he wouldn’t admit it out loud, Kankuro did like Lee, and he didn't want to lose a friend...Now that the alcohol was relaxing some of the strictures a Sand Shinobi kept around his emotions, Kankuro was even ready to concede that Lee was near the top of his very short list of guys he would not kill if he caught them pawing his little brother. Kankuro’s main concern, though, as a Jounin of Sunagakure, was Gaara-related fallout in the case of Lee's death, because that was the kind of emotional hurt that could put holes in buildings. But...

"But Gaara's made his choice," Kankuro concluded, as he had concluded over an hour ago already, meeting Gaara’s steady gaze. "And we can’t protect him forever."

"We failed to protect him for twelve years," Temari whispered, glaring holes in his counter, not that he was fooled by her expression.

"That wasn’t really our fault," Kankuro told her gruffly. "We were kids. What the hell were we supposed to do, huh? We were able to help him after that. After Uzumaki did what we couldn't do and pounded some sense into his skull. We helped him find his place in the sun; we protected him from the worst of Suna's reaction, from situations which he wasn't up to coping with yet. We helped him get this far. But now...now, he's got to take his chances like the rest of us."

Temari blinked quickly, but then her face was all resolute determination again and her fist hammered the counter.

"You may be right, but we can protect them for just a bit longer!"

She leapt to her feet with a show of decision, while Kankuro smirked at her choice of words. 'Protect them', huh? Damn, enough liquor, he was maudlin. Kankuro immediately disregarded his own decision and took another shot.

"I have a lot to do," Temari announced, fastening her fan on her back with a bit more concentration than was usually required. "First off, I must have a word with his bodyguards."

Kankuro choked on his drink. "Oh shit, I completely forgot about them. Do you think those poor bastards saw anything? What do you think they know?"

"Nothing, if we’re very lucky, but I don't feel lucky," Temari grumbled. "I need to know who they told. Then I need to know how to shut everybody who knows up. And then-"

Kankuro watched with interest as his sister swayed gently and grabbed the counter for balance. They'd emptied half the bottle between them already. Shinobi tended to metabolize poisons rapidly, but this stuff kicked like a mule.

"Maybe you should do that later," he told her with a smirk. "You look a bit wasted."

"I am not wasted," Temari declared with dignity.

"Neither am I. I can still remember Gaara telling me what Rock Lee did to him before I begged him to stop talking, so I know I'm definitely not shit-faced enough."

"I don't have the time to get drunk," Temari declared scornfully.

"Too late, I'd say. Come on, intimidating people into shutting up can wait until tomorrow. Have another drink."

"You may need to look at this situation through the bottom of a bottle, brother,” Temari told him haughtily, “but I do not feel the need to squander my mental resources-“

"Did you get a good look as you jutsued in? I could swear they were tonguing each other. Isn't that the last thing you ever thought you'd see Gaara do? Oh, and our little brother knows how to give head now. Don't that beat it all?"

Temari stood frozen to the spot for a few seconds, staring at him with round, horrified eyes. Then she went very red, and gave him a look of pure loathing as she sat down and reached for the glass he'd just filled.

"You are a vile and disgusting creature, and I cannot believe we're related."

"Yeah, we're a weird family."

"Since we both know he’s dependable, Rock Lee is also somewhat part of our family now," Temari declared, getting some of her own back. "He's virtually your brother in law."

Kankuro thought that was immeasurably funny, which had to mean he was well on his way to completely drunk.

"Make that a very weird family," he said cheerfully. "Hey, he'll fit right in."

"You may be right. Don't you have any sake? This stuff is horrible."

At the bottom of the bottle was a long yellow worm. Years later Kankuro would still feel queasy at the sight of one, and he never did figure out if it had been put in there on purpose or by accident.

End Side Story

And thanks for all the reviews for the previous chapter *is overwhelmed* I'm answering them, but I had a busy week, so I'm a bit slow. But to show my appreciation for all you lovely people who read this fic and who encourage me in this insanity, I wrote a brief skit on Gaara, Kankuro and The Talk, since I didn't eloborate on it in this side story. It'll be an LJ exclusive, just for you guys ^_^ Probably out this afternoon or tomorrow, when I go through it one last time. Warning, it's pure crack...
turtlepie (or something)kaneko_chan on February 18th, 2006 05:03 pm (UTC)
SQUEE! I love your work! I just love it.

Okay, I can go back to work now... just... my god, you're brilliant.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
Lol, thanks ^__^ (I woudln't read the next chapter I post at work if I were you though, not if your IT dept watches net use, like mine does :P Or unless your IT guys really like lemony yaoi!)
chyldea: yay!chyldea on February 18th, 2006 05:40 pm (UTC)
I can't coherently tell you how much I adore you, this fic and its spin-offs.

Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:25 am (UTC)
Thanks ^__^
cyracin25 on February 18th, 2006 05:42 pm (UTC)

Okay, I have followed this story since I first saw it on AFF, and made my way to your journal since AFF is being weird. This is the best LeeGaara story I have EVER read, and it's made me embrace the pairing so hard it's a pity.

*chuckling* Kankuro and Temari are too funny, lol! I guess it would be shocking to see their demanding, damaging little brother snugglekissing Lee, lol! Great chapter!!!
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:27 am (UTC)
Yeah, AFF is moving servers or something, so they've freezed all functions. Bye bye weekly updates ^^; Oh well, a few refugees found my LJ, so that's okay. And the siblings will be joining Guardian Three at the Sanotorium for Happy Ninja after this, I think.
babaca: Iruka & Kakashi from doujinshi Love Gunbabaca on February 18th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
*snickers* Poor traumatized Kankuro spreading the love to traumatize Temari as well. ^___^ Ah then you sneak in plot developments like the necessity of Lee having to go on the Orochimaru hunt... You are a devious well rounded writer which is why I enjoy reading what you put out there for us to read. ^___^ I enjoyed this.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:29 am (UTC)
Yes, I almost made this a chapter rather than a sidestory when I realized that plot was going to happen. It was a good place to put it, it would have clogged up the main arc. Whether Lee is going snake hunting, or whether something even more sinister might come from this, future chapters will tell...*creepy music*
Crystalline Starslikeredgold on February 18th, 2006 06:02 pm (UTC)
I love you <3 This fic ands its spin offs leave me on some many levels of happy I don't know what to do with myself.

Poor Kankuro *shakes head in dismay*

Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:30 am (UTC)
Don't worry, Kankuro will be fine. After half a bottle of alcohol and a few sessions of therapy ^__^ I'm so nice to my characters...
(Deleted comment)
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:32 am (UTC)
Thanks ^_^ What they were drinking is based on a Japanese alcohol called Choshu, which you mix with lemon juice. It's not as strong as tequila, but it's enough to make you forget you saw your demon-possessed lil' brother licking Lee. As for The Guy, I wasn't planning on his future appearance, but Temari will surely get him sooner or later, when she snaps and pins him to a wall ^__^
Archeekaarcheeka on February 18th, 2006 07:38 pm (UTC)
This is really quite... badass! You've definately gotten Temari and Kankuro's character's, and their interaction, down to a fucking snap.

And while this is technically a "side story", it really did come across as highly significant enough to be necessary to the story anyway--for the intention of a transition, or just a well needed viewing of Gaara's sibling's sorting through things.

As for the Suna Sibling element to this story, you've used much more insight than just about anyone else I've encountered in consideration of their characters and relations, and have executed the fruits (whoa executing fruits!) of your analyzation far better and more convincingly than anyone else (again, that I have met).

I'm still wrapping my brain around the fact that you have persuasively convinced me, fuck, I think almost proved, that only someone with Lee's personality could get with Gaara. You've rationalized so much, and really, while the thought in itself is incredulous, I can't help but laugh everytime the realization hits me.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:35 am (UTC)
I shot a banana today *angelic smile*

There's tons of ways of interpreting all four of these characters, since they aren't as developed as Team 7. That's what makes it fun! I'm glad I could convince people of their motivations, and of the Lee/Gaara thing, which I adore but am quite willing to concede could be seen as kinda weird...the browed and the browless...But I sure love the sibs, and their different but just as sarcastic and hard-assed approach to life XD They go well with Gaara.
(no subject) - archeeka on February 21st, 2006 04:37 am (UTC) (Expand)
☆★☆艳: FIRE!!!!admiral_yen on February 18th, 2006 07:50 pm (UTC)
Hope you don't mind I added you to my friends list. ^_^ I'm a growing fan of your works, especially DR. Got a lot of reading to catch up on until I get to chapter nineteen though, but I'd like to keep an eye on your updates in the future!

Good work thus far is all I can really think to say. =) I can't wait to finish reading chapter eight! Alas, midterms... X_x;;
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 18th, 2006 10:45 pm (UTC)
Friend away, I never mind ^__^ Lol, it'll take you awhile to get up to speed with DR. I remember, when I started this fic, I said I would 'hope to write more of these drabbles'. Ye-esh, welcome to the insanity ^^; But good luck with those midterms!
(Anonymous) on February 18th, 2006 07:56 pm (UTC)
I love To see a ninja wasted!
Yahoi! I love your ponctuality!
I find very intelligent the way Kankuro's thoughts always go back to the tracks he doesn't want them to follow.
Wow I thought this chapter was just all fun but you made a real plot with Temari's breakdown!
I love the I'm not waisted part. Such a truthfull reaction in this situation.
Very good job. I will adore reading the little side-story of the side-story.

Thank you,

Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:37 am (UTC)
Re: I love To see a ninja wasted!
I find very intelligent the way Kankuro's thoughts always go back to the tracks he doesn't want them to follow.

Well, I sort of based that on the way I act and think when I've just had that kind of embarrassing and/or disturbing shock. Yes, this has happened...

I had intended to make this chapter about Kankuro and Temari getting smashed and saying funny things about Lee/Gaara, but in the end, plot and character development crept in when I wasn't looking. Oh well, it won't go to waste ^_^
Kathy: Happy/Cheerful/Awakekael_raye on February 18th, 2006 08:31 pm (UTC)
I just love Kankuro!!!

“Our caustic, Tail-ridden, one-time nutjob of a little brother got shacked up before either of us,” Kankuro finally said. “What the hell happened here?”

That was just the greatest line. The humor in this side-story was cute. Also the seriousness and caring Temari and Kankuro have for Gaara.

Great side-story! ^_^ You always do a fantastic job writing these chapters and stories.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:39 am (UTC)
Re: XD
Thanks ^__^ I love Kankuro because he has such a hard-nosed, 'what-me-care' attitude towards life and everything, yet beneath that, he's serious, and even protective, as we see after the time-jump. He's a great character, and I loves him dearly ^__^ Temari too, though I had to dig a bit more to 'get' her character.
baked_pandablur_panda on February 18th, 2006 10:24 pm (UTC)
*tear spray*
Absolutely /brilliant/, like how all of your other works are. (TA! FP! Monsters! etc.)

And boy will the shrinks have a field day with this dysfunctional group until their retirement day. <3 Bless their souls.

You never ceased to amaze me with your ability to keep *ALL* chara. SO IC like you're in their head or something, positively mind boggling. I don't know how you do it but it's goddamn awsume. 'Frills.

Can't wait to see what went down during The Talk! *feeds sweeties*

Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:47 am (UTC)
And boy will the shrinks have a field day with this dysfunctional group until their retirement day.

Hell yeah. Gaara himself would be enough for a whole hospital wing of psych students. In fact, I had this weird daydream the other day of Gaara in one of those touchy-feely group therapy sessions. 'So, our new member! Your name is Gaara, right?' (in condescending, 'oh he's so young' tone). 'Yes.' 'So, why don't you tell us, in your own words and your own time, what you want out of this group? If you're ready to share with us, of course. We only want to help.' Dead-eyed stare. 'My sister made me sign up for this. She thinks I need therapy because my father killed my mother in order to bind a psychotic demon in me which keeps me from sleeping and pushed me towards six years of slaughter before I hit puberty. Is that enough to start with? Or should I add the bit where my uncle tried to kill me when I was six.' The session goes downhill after that.

*chews thoughtfully on sweeties* Maybe I could do with a therapy session or two...but glad you like the chara development!
Icka! M. Chif: Nyahickaimp on February 18th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
Oh, gods... I suppose in some ways that's worse than walking in on your Parents screwing around, isn't it. *cackles*
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 03:50 am (UTC)
Well, I don't have a psychotic, demon-possessed little brother who is also my hierarchical superior officer, but I HAVE walked in on my parents ^^; They both rate high on the 'now, how exactly can I forget this NOW' scale.
(no subject) - yuki_no_kitsune on February 27th, 2006 06:51 am (UTC) (Expand)
fallingscribble on February 19th, 2006 01:42 am (UTC)
Yeah, your Kankuro and Temari are awesome. =P Poor people.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
Thanks ^_^ Poor guys...oh well, what's life without the occasional family trauma :P
(Anonymous) on February 19th, 2006 03:53 am (UTC)
Oooo I must read that lol. Ooo the trauma! This is Mehla by the way.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:20 pm (UTC)
*waves* Glad you liked it! They'll get over the shock. Eventually :P
(Anonymous) on February 19th, 2006 04:29 am (UTC)
Yaaaay crack! That was a WONDERFUL fix and I can't wait to read the Kankuro torture whenever you get that out! XD
ex_korofel832 on February 19th, 2006 04:30 am (UTC)
Yaaaay crack! That was a WONDERFUL fix and I can't wait to read the Kankuro torture whenever you get that out! XD
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)
*snicker* Kankuro torture accomplished! Now you'll understand why he was in such a hurry to drink :P
Trivrurounitriv on February 19th, 2006 04:56 am (UTC)
Great work here! Don't know either of the characters, but it reads very true to life anyway.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:22 pm (UTC)
Thanks ^_^ There isn't all that much to know, they don't have huge roles in the series, more's the pity. But they make very cool entrances :P It's apparently a Sand nin specialty...
(no subject) - rurounitriv on February 21st, 2006 03:36 pm (UTC) (Expand)
(Anonymous) on February 19th, 2006 07:21 am (UTC)
Just a note: when you say "Thirty percent proof", you're sending off mixed messages. If liquor is thirty percent, then thirty percent of the beverage is alcohol, but if it's thirty proof then it's only fifteen percent alcohol.

Other than that, I can't pick out any flaws, so keep up the awesome work. ^_^
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC)
Re: Agamemnon
Meh, I can't remember which I meant now. Probably thirty percent. It's supposed to be strong. Glad you liked it!
K. Takefutago_02 on February 19th, 2006 10:57 am (UTC)
oh god. I was smiling at those two the whole time i read this... :) they're so wonderful! and oh god, gross. yellow worm. now I feel queasy too... -o-
anyway, i always love the sibling interaction, that's what makes the world interesting... :) ppl without sibs are missing out! :)
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:25 pm (UTC)
Thanks! One of the very numerous things that interest me in the Naruto-verse is how such a family would work. In most anime, the super-powerful unstable first-evil-then-good guy doesn't have siblings. I've got a few drabbles on this screwed up family somewhere on my hard-drive, I should try to make it into a story one day...
Battle Angel Productionsalita_b_angel on February 19th, 2006 01:48 pm (UTC)
YES MORE SIBLING FIC! From Kankuro's desperation to get drunk and try to get that single horrifyingly graphic detail out of his head to temari's worry and determination and secret feminine need to for SOME kind of lover in her life to their drunken seriousness and concern for tha State Of Affairs, reminding me that these people are so ninja in the night they can't be anything else. Lee's inclusion in the family and Kankuro vindictively using The Bad Place to manipulate his sister into taking some rest, and even the little worm in the drink (did you know you can also get a worm in a lollipop? or a lollipop with a worm in it actually), EVERYTHING, I loved it all.

Both of them I think will systematically get rid of any black bowls they have in their houses so they won't chance ever seeing a black bowl on Gaara's lap... ever.

Hee. *love*
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 21st, 2006 01:29 pm (UTC)
Both of them I think will systematically get rid of any black bowls they have in their houses so they won't chance ever seeing a black bowl on Gaara's lap... ever.

*snicker* yeah, could be. Though they were lucky and didn't actually see it, unlike Gaara's poor bodyguards. Hopefully the alcohol will help ease the shock, until they get used to the idea. I had fun digging into their characters a bit in this chapter; glad that worked!
Proud_Snapistproud_snapist on February 19th, 2006 10:44 pm (UTC)
Incredible!!!! You write the sand sibs with deadly humorous accuracy. (<-- longer way of saying IC cuz I thought I'd be a tad more creative =P) Yey for getting wasted! I hope you do more of these side stories. They are always great fun to read.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 23rd, 2006 01:21 pm (UTC)
Lol, creative is good ^__^ I'm thinking there may be one more side story near the end, but I have to work it in my head a bit more. If it works out, it should also be pretty funny in its situation :P Glad you liked the sibs!
Leynalisann on February 20th, 2006 12:21 am (UTC)
Yaaay! I love this story and everything about it. ^___^ [And your other stories that I've read, *le siigh* :}]
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 23rd, 2006 01:22 pm (UTC)
Awww thanks ^__^ (This reminds me that I have to put my other stories into my memories too...)
raccoonofyouthraccoonofyouth on February 20th, 2006 01:20 am (UTC)
WAH! I.....no words, no words.♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!! *passes out*
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 23rd, 2006 01:23 pm (UTC)
lol, How do you pronounce ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!!!! exactly? ^_~ Glad you liked it!
Doewiebeledoewiebele on February 20th, 2006 07:56 am (UTC)

Silly, poor siblings
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 23rd, 2006 01:24 pm (UTC)
Well, they'll be okay once they get over the major trauma and reversal of all they've known as true surprise ^__^
Qaddafi the Ripper: Naruto Fartqaddafi on February 20th, 2006 01:38 pm (UTC)
This is everything I've been wanting to read for chapters. So many hilarious bits, and so much Kankuro love. Temari too, and God help her crush. The part at the end with the worm killed me. And yes, Lee's going to fit into that family just fine.
Maldorormaldoror_gw on February 23rd, 2006 01:26 pm (UTC)
Yeah, any guy who gets together with Temari is in for a very strange family dinner :P And he better not split on her, of he'll really be in trouble. Kankuro will beat him up, Lee will lecture him and Gaara will just Glare. He'd be toast in short order.

*returns the Kankuro love*